Once, when I was still a school going kid, my school had a book fair. There were all kinds of books there and although my school had a library, the book fair had all the students’attention.
I still wasn’t a bibliophile then, far from it, the only books I had read by that age were my school text books. Maybe the new shiny covers attracted me, but one day I asked my father to come with me to the book fair.
Inside the fair it was like a candy store, only instead of candys wrapped in shiny covers there were books. I picked up several books and vowed to read them all. My father must have been thinking, how come I’ve suddenly become a nerd.
But since he was a little circumspect that I’ll even read one of the books, let alone all of them, he told me he’ll only pay for one book. I had to chose which one it should be.
For a kid whose eyes were shinning with bright colours from the several books kept in front of him, choosing one wasn’t short of a dilemma. But then, I chose a book placed on the corner of the table, it had a black cover and had a picture of solar system over it. I hadn’t a clue why I wanted this book, but if I have the option of buying only one book this had to be it.
I must have read that book a hundred times over the summer, I still remember some of the facts given in that book.
I was fascinated by space so much, it was the only thing I could think of. I talked about how young our sun is although it is a billion years old, and I talked about black holes and neutron stars and galaxies.
After I’ve bored my friends and relatives with all these facts, they asked me one question “So do you want to be an astronaut when you grow up? Walk on moon?”
“No!”, I would quickly reply and with a little pride I’d say, “An astronomer.”
For most people hadn’t even heard what an astronomer was. A friend thought I wanted to be somekind of a fortune teller.
And over the summers somehow I forgot about that kid. Now again when I am constantly being questioned about my goals in life, I am suddenly reminded of that little kid who had dreams of stars in his eyes.
I still am interested in learning new facts about space but I don’t think at this point in my life I’ll be able to become an astronomer. I feel guilty for being so caught up with my life that I couldn’t see where I was headed at.
This sucks. It does really. I always thought I was the kind who’ll never get lost, someone who could hold out against the wind, choose the trail and stick to it.
I guess life doesn’t work that way.
You need to update your goals according to turns your river of life takes. Part of life.
I’ll still want to give you a parting advice though, while you are rowing through all the turns of this river, look out for that little kid on the shore maybe he knows a thing or two about where your heart lies.